I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
