used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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