Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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