Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
