I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
the raccoons are back...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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