New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize