everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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