I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
