I'm laying in your front yard are you home
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
