try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
