What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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