party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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