dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Randomize
