I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
