margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
