hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Damn victory sex feels great
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