Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
