Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
you had me at cake vodka
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
