So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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