I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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