the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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