i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
