Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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