No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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