Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
