I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
