we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
