some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
