If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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