My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
