The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
