Hey man sorry I got all grabby
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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