Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I will pee on everything he values.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
