Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
