I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
And then he peed in my hair
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