She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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