We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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