Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
