i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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