omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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