i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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