oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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