Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
