i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
