yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
