Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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