Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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