I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
