So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
