Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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