you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize