I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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