school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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