Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
