I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
