i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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