Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
