are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
