I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
