the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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