Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
