i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
