he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
