Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
