TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
