Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
