Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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